1 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,071 Gosh, your legs are getting hairy! 2 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,952 Ha, ha, ha! 3 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,991 (Chuckles) 4 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,278 That's my jersey you're cutting up! 5 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,951 Well, let's face it, it's not functioning as a jersey. It's more like an old string vest. 6 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,157 - I liked it! - Well, this is far more practical. 7 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,476 But... you're hacking it to pieces! 8 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,239 I'm not. These are my knee warmers for the cold weather, 9 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,157 and I'm going to wear the top as a tabard. 10 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,670 - You'll need something underneath it. - Yes, Tom. 11 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,234 Well, I suppose that is quite a good idea, really. 12 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:22,069 I saw it on Blue Peter when I was round at Margo's the other day. 13 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:26,318 You see, the trouble is, these television people never think the thing through. 14 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,273 Where you've cut the stitches, it's just going to unravel. 15 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,517 - You bind the edges. - Ah. 16 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,671 It hasn't got any feet to them either. 17 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,996 - Go away. - All right, all right. 18 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,749 Only I was going to fly you down to Rio for a wild and wonderful weekend. 19 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,234 What on? Hot air? 20 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,398 No, kid, money. Greenbacks. Moola. 21 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:52,879 - The soft fruits? - Our soft fruit ship came in to the tune of �195! 22 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,039 We won! Oh, we actually won at something! 23 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,789 - And we deserve every penny of it. - Oh, that is a weight off my mind! 24 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,799 - Oh, Tom! If that lot had failed... - Ah, but it didn't. 25 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,310 Now, I suggest we charter a private jet. That's the only way to go to Rio. 26 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,954 Now, that's a year's rates... 27 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,470 Then we'll take a suite. No, a whole floor. Don't want to muck about. 28 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,954 .Water rates, 29 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,880 the petrol for a year for the cart, 30 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,550 tax, and the insurance for the same. 31 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,752 A new pair of shoes each. We've got to have those. 32 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,794 OK. Now that leaves us... 33 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,274 - with a �10 float! 34 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,591 I wanted to go to Rio. 35 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,159 Next year. 36 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,999 Yes, yes, next year. Anyway, I despise money. 37 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,670 I wouldn't despise it too much. It's got us off several hooks all at once 38 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,711 and we've got a �10 float! 39 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:55,709 Tom, it's ages since we've had as much as �10 in the kitty. 40 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,239 Let's buy you something. 41 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:02,116 If we spend that, when we spend that, it will be on something that we really need. 42 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,516 Quite right, quite right. You're a wonderful little manager, Barbara. 43 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,039 Boring, but wonderful. 44 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,319 Stocking tops? 45 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,955 - On the other hand, perhaps not. - (Doorbell) 46 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,913 I thought that sort of thing only happened in films. 47 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,789 Hello, Tom. I'd like a word with Barbara, please. 48 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,400 - Yes, Margo, she's in the big room. - Thank you. 49 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,354 - Hello, Barbara. May I beg a favour? - Yes, of course. 50 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,313 Oh, Barbara, you didn't take Blue Peter seriously. 51 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,713 - Oh, they're only for ballet practice. - If only they were. 52 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,036 - What's the favour? - Ah, yes. 53 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,277 I wonder, would you keep an eye open for the television repairman? 54 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,913 - Hello! - Would you? 55 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,474 - Certainly. - If you'd be good enough to let him in, 56 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,753 and stand over him whilst he's doing whatever it is they do. I don't trust tradesmen. 57 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,475 I would have supervised him myself but I'm going shopping in Dorking. 58 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,079 Dorking, Tom! 59 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,952 - Oh, yes! - What? 60 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,799 How would you like a nice companion on your journey? 61 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,399 If that means you, I wouldn't. 62 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,074 But I'd make him wash his hands and comb his hair with water. 63 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,191 Why should you want to go to Dorking anyway? 64 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,470 Well, I can pick up some chicken feed. 65 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,275 If you think you're using my car as some sort of farm wagon... 66 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:19,711 No, no, no, no no. It comes in nice, clean paper sacks. Honestly. 67 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,197 You see, I'd go with Tom in our cart, but I have this television man to look out for. 68 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,231 Oh, very well. 69 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,794 You use me, you two. You know that, don't you? 70 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,434 No, no, no, no, no. I'll be good, honestly. I'll be good. 71 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,394 You do your shopping, I'll do mine, we'll have a coffee in the Wimpy and straight home. 72 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,717 We will have a pot of tea in the Tudor Tea Rooms. 73 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,154 No, forget the tea, we'll come straight home. 74 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,191 - Are you ready? - Yes, Margo. 75 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,756 Now, do as you're told. Don't keep asking for sweets. 76 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,030 And hold hands nicely. 77 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,831 Don't be silly, Tom! 78 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,671 MARGO: And don't do that, either! 79 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,759 MARGO: Yes, it's very charming indeed. Very charming. 80 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,598 What do you want with a spinning wheel? 81 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,712 It would look terribly right in the corner of the drawing room. 82 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,558 Yes, I want it. 83 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,479 - It hasn't got a price tag on it. - I should hope not. 84 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,036 - Let me come in and haggle for you. - Certainly not. 85 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,869 If you want to haggle, go and haggle over your chicken feed. 86 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,353 (Shop bell) 87 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,479 (Mouths) Go away! 88 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,554 (Mouths) 89 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,151 (Shop bell) 90 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,193 - Afternoon. - Afternoon. 91 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,471 - What have you got there, then? - Chicken feed. 92 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,352 Chicken feed? What, two sacks? 93 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,358 (Sharp intake of breath) Ooh, there's not much call for that. 94 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,913 17 and 6, top offer. 95 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,951 No, no, I'm not selling. 96 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,196 I might want to buy something. 97 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,278 Oh, I see. Oh, well, you've got me over a barrel there. 98 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,756 - Why? - Well, he's not here. He's up the other shop. 99 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,919 Oh. Then why should you offer to buy two sacks of chicken feed, then? 100 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,079 Well, that's his instructions. "Stock, Ernie", that's what he's always saying to me. 101 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,589 "When you've got stock, you're buffered from life." 102 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,753 - It's certainly true around here, isn't it? - To a degree. 103 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,518 Trouble is, the stock's taken over. 104 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,439 Do you know I had my own personal gas ring once? 105 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,551 Somewhere under that lot now. 106 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,956 Oh, so if I was to buy something, it would increase your floor space. 107 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,072 It's a lovely thought, but he's not here, that's the trouble. 108 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,758 Does he have to be here? 109 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,269 Oh, no. I've got full powers. 110 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,951 It's just that I don't like doing any actual selling when he's up the other shop. 111 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,674 Well, why don't you go up the other shop and get him? 112 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,509 What, and bust in on that lot? Corl She'd go mad. 113 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,191 Look, I tell you what. I'll show you what I want and we'll take it from there, eh? 114 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,709 - I'm game. - Right. 115 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,071 - It's the loom. - The loom. Yeah. 116 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,589 - Could you...? - Yeah, sure, sure. Right. 117 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,119 Ta. 118 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,231 This one? 119 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,115 No. The loom. 120 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,151 Yeah. 121 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,631 Could you point? 122 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,591 There. That. 123 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:25,031 Oh, right. I didn't know he'd got that. 124 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,153 That must have come in when the ginger bloke was here. Before me, you see. 125 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,079 - Could I have a closer look? - Oh, certainly, yeah. 126 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,479 Ah, well, it's er... it's all there. 127 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,193 It seems to be in working order. 128 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,437 - Well, he could tell you that. - Only he's up the other shop, I know. 129 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,233 - What do you want to do with it, then? - Well, I want to weave. 130 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,069 A friend of mine's got a spinning wheel, and when I saw this, two and two made four. 131 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,434 Well, he'll be in Thursday morning. 132 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,552 Ah, yeah, but I mean you've got full powers. You said so. 133 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,514 - Well, it's true... - Well, then, live dangerously. Sell something. 134 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:03,955 Shall 17? 135 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,391 - It might be one up against her, mightn't it? - Oh, I doubt it. 136 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,795 She's Yugoslavian, you see. 137 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,077 - Well, even so... - Yeah, yeah, you've got a point. 138 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,633 Now look, I'll make it easy. 139 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:20,116 I'll name a price, and that'll be it because I'm a one-price man. 140 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,833 Right, here we go, then. 141 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,954 - Ten quid. - Done. 142 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,079 - Now, then, that wasn't too painful, was it? - No. 143 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,599 I was only gonna ask eight. 144 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,752 Oh, er... yes. Well, that's got to include delivery. 145 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,076 Does it? Oh, I see. Well, where do you live, then? 146 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,795 - Surbiton. - Oh, that's no trouble. I go past there in the van. 147 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:46,390 Great, great. Now, get my money. There we are, 10. 148 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,559 Now... Ah, here we go. I'll just give you the address. Now, um... about what time? 149 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,591 - Will eight be all right? - Fine. 150 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,473 - Lovely, lovely. - Lovely, lovely. 151 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,511 - Right, cheerio. - Ta. 152 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,238 You know, I shall bless the day that you come into this shop. 153 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,669 - What, your sales breakthrough, you mean? - No. 154 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,953 I mean coming back here. I've spotted the tube to my gas ring. 155 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,676 Oh, good. Very good. All you've got to do now is find the kettle and you can have a cup of tea. 156 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,199 (Door slams) 157 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,231 - Hello, Barbara. - Hello, Jerry. 158 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,433 What are you doing home? You should be stuck on London Bridge at this time of day. 159 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,871 Oh, I packed up at four. I've had about enough for today, I really have. 160 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,231 Is that wise? What about currying favour with sir? 161 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,271 No, I did that this morning. 162 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,995 Look, do you know where Margo is? I gave her my keys today, I can't get in. 163 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,031 Yes, here they are. 164 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,071 She's gone shopping. 165 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,111 (Jerry sighs deeply) 166 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,596 I wish I was on London Bridge now. 167 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,234 I wouldn't have heard that news for half an hour. 168 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,478 - Never mind, she may not buy anything. - The sun might not come up tomorrow. 169 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,195 Do you know, she cost me �38 last time she went shopping? 170 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,311 A silver cigarette holder. 171 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,510 For evening wear. 172 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,517 - Hallmarked? - Oh, had to be. 173 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,837 No wonder I have to get my chequebooks two at a time. 174 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,952 - You're too easy with her. - Maybe I am. 175 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,992 I feel like that little boy with his finger in the dyke. 176 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,431 As fast as I plug up one hole, she bursts out through another. 177 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,479 You're not like that. 178 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,273 I don't get the chance, Jerry. We don't have any money. 179 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,834 The way Margo spends mine, you'd think I printed it. 180 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:04,477 - It's no good complaining to me about it. - I know. I like complaining to you, though. 181 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:08,832 Oh, don't be silly. Anyway, I told you what to do before and you chickened out. 182 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,430 I'll tell you once again and then it's up to you. You have to put your foot down. 183 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,471 Say "Margo, this has got to stop." 184 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:19,833 - Yes, I know. But that'd mean I'd have to say... - "Margo, this has got to stop", yes. 185 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,757 Yes. 186 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,873 - You might even be surprised by her response. - No, I don't think I would. 187 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,799 Look, I'll tell you something, Jerry. 188 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,150 Now this is a trade secret. 189 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,512 But if "no" is said in the right way, at the right time, about the right thing, 190 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:39,313 a woman, she can respect it. 191 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,954 She can even quite like it. 192 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,277 - Are you sure? - Well, am a woman, Jerry. 193 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,994 - Yes, yes, I know that. - I mean, speaking personally, 194 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:53,830 when Tom is firm with me, really fair but firm, 195 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,440 I go quite weak at the knees. 196 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,236 Jerry? 197 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,116 - Yes? - And he'll be home in a minute. 198 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,073 Sorry. But you're not Margo. 199 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,272 No, I know I'm not, but I'm not complaining about her spending. 200 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,516 You're quite right, of course. 201 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,949 - Well? - Yes. 202 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,991 Thank you very much. 203 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,192 No, I meant, well, are you going to do anything about it? 204 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,311 Yes. Damn it all! 205 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,920 About time she realised I'm not just a slot machine 206 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,349 that automatically produces the jackpot! 207 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,391 Thanks again, Barbara. 208 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,636 Thanks a lot, Ernie. Give my regards to him. And her. Bye. 209 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,116 BARBARA: Can I come in yet? - Er.um... 210 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,599 Yes, all right. 211 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,109 What was all that banging and crashing ab... 212 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,074 - Its a loom! - Very good. 213 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,999 - Why? - Well, because it is. 214 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,111 No, I mean why have you got it? 215 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,757 Why have I got it? Because we won't have to rely on Blue Peter make-do-and-mend hints. 216 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,555 - We can weave our own clothes on this. - You're a bit of an optimist, aren't you? 217 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,399 No. Who took Weaving at evening classes in the winter? 218 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,831 But you got your arm stuck in the loom. You had to be cut free. 219 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,757 Well, you were good at it. 220 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:33,112 Well, I wasn't bad, but that doesn't qualify me to set up as a ladies and gents outfitters. 221 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,755 Anyway, where's all the wool gonna come from? 222 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,916 What are we gonna weave with? 223 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,474 You're not being very enthusiastic, are you? 224 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:46,037 I thought it was so practical, so self-sufficient. And a bargain, to boot. Only cost me 10 quid. 225 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,957 Had to beat the bloke down, of course. 226 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,831 What's the matter? 227 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,749 You spent our �10 float just like that? 228 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,120 - Well, it's the only �10 we'd got. - Exactly. 229 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,674 And you didn't even ask my opinion first. 230 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,990 - Did you have something in mind? - No, I didn't. 231 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:17,477 But we never spend precious money without agreeing what we spend it on. 232 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,876 - Ever heard of impulse buying? - Yes, I have, Tom, and I don't like it. 233 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,319 Especially in this case. 234 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,990 Good lord, it's not as though I blew the lot on some three-legged greyhound. 235 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,318 I'm not talking about that. I am just concerned that you didn't even ask me. 236 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,556 Well, I'm very, very sorry. 237 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,591 - Do you mind if I sit down? - Yes! 238 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,309 It's funny, I was talking about being firm and fair earlier this morning. 239 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,759 Well, I am being firm. 240 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,078 But you are not being fair, so don't come the heavy-handed lord of the manor with me, mate! 241 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,112 - Oh, now you're just being silly. - No, I'm not being silly. 242 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,391 Well, maybe I am being silly. 243 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,432 Maybe I don't like being let down. 244 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,959 And maybe I am being silly 245 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,789 because I never thought you would be the one to do it, Tom. 246 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,159 (Door closes) 247 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,071 (Chuckles wheezily) 248 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,711 (Whistles) 249 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,511 (Sighs) 250 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,671 I could have been wrong. 251 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,030 I'm not saying I was, but um... 252 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,111 I could have been. 253 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,271 Put it another way, 254 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,799 I was wrong. 255 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,830 Are you my totally compliant and opinionless slave again? 256 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,030 - Yes. - Oh, good. Mwah! 257 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,436 I did it the wrong way, but it is a good thing to have, isn't it, the loom? 258 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,709 No. 259 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,270 What? 260 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,199 - I don't think it is. - Come on, I said I was sorry. 261 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,119 No, I just think having a loom is a pretty duff idea. 262 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,912 - That's what you really think? - Yes. 263 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,839 Nothing to do with the fact that I bought it without telling you? 264 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,076 - No. - But you can weave. 265 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,476 - But, as I was saying, what with? - Wool. 266 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,318 - From? - The goat. 267 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,317 Oh, brilliant. A goat? 268 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,920 Where do you think vicuna comes from? 269 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,078 From the combings of the soft belly of the vicuna. 270 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,440 Exactly. 271 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,791 In Peru, where they live, hundreds of them. 272 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,718 We'd be lucky if we got a string vest out of Geraldine. 273 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,674 - All right, then. Sheep. - But we haven't got any sheep. 274 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,792 I know, but we live in Surrey. There are thousands of sheep, 275 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,151 all leaving little bits of wool on miles and miles of barbed wire. 276 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,397 - But how are we going to... - And another thing... No, no. 277 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,798 Say we offered a couple of days' labour to a sheep farmer during the shearing season, 278 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,354 and asked him to give us fleeces instead of money? 279 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,472 - What about dyeing the stuff? - I've already thought about that. 280 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,229 They have vegetable dyes from lichens in the Western Isles. 281 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,078 Long walk to Scotland. 282 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,118 They don't have a monopoly of them. There are English lichens. 283 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,071 We could make our own dyes, I'm sure of it. 284 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,839 Yes, I suppose we could. 285 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,350 The fecundity of my mind is quite terrifying sometimes. 286 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,630 Yes, it would be if you hadn't forgotten something. 287 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,476 What? 288 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,639 You can't just chuck a dollop of wool onto a loom and dash off a suit, you know. 289 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,876 It has to be spun first. 290 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,190 For which you need a spinning wheel. 291 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,835 - Which we haven't got. - True. 292 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,997 Give in? 293 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,838 Margo's getting one. 294 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,839 You toad! 295 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,599 You knew that all the time, didn't you? 296 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,631 Yes. 297 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,149 What on earth does Margo want with a spinning wheel? 298 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:02,194 Well, it's obvious. She's going to put it in the corner of her lounge and say "How quaint." 299 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,551 It doesn't alter the fact there is a spinning wheel which we can borrow. 300 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,035 You've got criminal tendencies, you have. 301 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,072 Don't drag up my prison record. Didn't I suffer enough? 302 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,192 I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about conning Margo 303 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,598 into getting something just because you want it. You'll be asking Jerry to buy a tractor next! 304 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,393 It wasn't like that at all. I cross my heart and hope to die. 305 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,149 She saw it and decided to buy it before the thought of a loom ever crossed my mind. 306 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,795 - Itis a bit sneaky though, isn't it? - A bit sneaky, yeah. 307 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,992 And I don't suppose you told Margo that you were getting a loom. 308 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,519 A sneak wouldn't, would he? 309 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,916 No, I thought I'd let her get it back home, get bored with it and we'd step in. 310 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,634 - She's getting it tomorrow. - You said she already got it. 311 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,910 In so many words. She's put a deposit down on it. 312 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,316 It's just a matter of ordering Jerry to sign the cheque and hey-ho. 313 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,310 Oh. 314 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,879 What? 315 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,158 Would you hit a woman... in glasses? 316 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,520 Certainly not. 317 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,839 What have you done? 318 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,316 Well, I had this little chat with Jerry 319 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,671 and I advised him to clamp down on Margo's spending. 320 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,071 - Take those glasses off. - How was I to know? It was just bad timing. 321 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,236 - You will interfere! - Hark who's talking! 322 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,955 All right, all right! All right, don't panic. I might not have to beat you up. 323 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,119 On the other hand... What am I talking about? Good lord! 324 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,231 How could Jerry clamp down on Margo, eh? 325 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:32,160 He might do a little huff and a puff, then she'll blow his house down and that's that. 326 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,991 (Knocking) 327 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:39,113 - Good evening, Barbara. Good evening, Tom. - Hello, Margo. What are you doing here? 328 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,878 I've left Jerry. 329 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,319 Why? 330 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,590 He wouldn't write a cheque for my spinning wheel. 331 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,756 - Eh? - How dare he talk to me like that? 332 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,394 I will not be harangued about the financial climate! 333 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,159 I will not have his bank statements thrust under my nose! 334 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,591 And above all, I will not be thrown about my own house like some ragdoll! 335 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,029 - What did he do? - He shook me by the elbows. 336 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,432 So er... you're not getting the spinning wheel, then. 337 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,756 I know, he's been talking to somebody. 338 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,155 It's those chaps at the office. The chaps. 339 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,510 A few gin and tonics for Dutch courage 340 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,633 and then they come home and expect to trample all over the little woman. Well, not me! 341 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,958 Did Jerry actually refuse to sign the cheque, or did he sign it first and then have a moan? 342 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,196 He wouldn't pick up the pen sol packed and left. 343 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,470 Oh, Margo! Where are you going to stay? 344 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,751 Oh. 345 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,759 That wretched argument has made me forget my manners. I'd rather hoped... 346 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,713 But of course! Of course you can stay here. 347 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,195 But you haven't actually left Jerry, have you? 348 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,754 I don't know what I've done at the moment, Barbara. 349 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,919 If I were you, I'd buy the spinning wheel with my own money just to spite him. 350 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:46,870 Tom! 351 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,639 Look, Margo, er... 352 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,752 what about a bite to eat? We were just going to have supper. 353 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,271 No, thank you. Experience has taught me that food and naked emotions don't mix. 354 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,474 - I'll go straight to my room, if you don't mind. - Yes, of course. I'll show you up. 355 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,831 - Good night, Tom. - Good night, Margo. 356 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,638 Don't use the wardrobe, it's full of onions. 357 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,916 Thank you, Tom. 358 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,278 Tom! Half-past nine! 359 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,516 - Elevenses! - Righto, love! 360 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,031 I've been thinking, you know. 361 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,475 They might have to get that spinning wheel. 362 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,797 It might have been a non-returnable deposit. 363 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,117 The shop may consider that the sale has been made. 364 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,152 You have got a spinning wheel fixation, you have. 365 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,592 Well, we need it. I've got to be made to feel better about buying that loom somehow. 366 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,439 I do hope Margo and Jerry get back together again soon. 367 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,879 Why worry about them? 368 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:08,198 Well, I've got to be made to feel better about stirring Jerry up to mutiny in the first place. 369 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,754 Well, that's what you are. A rotten little stirrer. 370 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,750 Oh, it's only one of their little spats. 371 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,792 Don't get taken in by Margo's impression of a battered wife. 372 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,194 No, I suppose not. 373 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,153 - Still in bed is she? - No, she's not. She's gone out. 374 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,830 - Perhaps she's gone back to Jerry. - No, nobody in. I've just been over there. 375 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,754 Oh, you just happened to pop over, did you? 376 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,553 Yeah, yeah. See old Jerry, see how he was. 377 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,955 Tried to talk Jerry into getting a spinning wheel? 378 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,674 It might have entered the conversation, I don't know. 379 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,873 What, like "Hello, Jerry. What about getting that spinning wheel?" 380 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,957 Something like that. 381 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,957 - You know what you are? - Clever? 382 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,638 A steaming hypocrite. 383 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,194 I think you'd better explain yourself, my girl. 384 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,279 Well, honestly! You're always whittling away at Jerry about Margo's overspending, 385 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,233 then as soon as it comes to anything that you want... 386 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,591 That is the principle of shifting principles. (Chuckles) 387 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,917 - Snake in the grass. - Jerry stirrer. 388 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,394 - Rat face. - Fatty. 389 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,512 - I love these little chats over tea, don't you? - Yeah. 390 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:11,669 (Knock) 391 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,711 Morning. 392 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,991 - Is Margo about? - No, Jerry, she's gone out. 393 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,634 Oh. Well, assuming that she'll come back here, 394 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,071 I suppose this is the best place to leave the peace offering. 395 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:26,875 The spinning wheel! 396 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,834 Jerry, why can't you stick to your guns just for once? 397 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,555 That's what the Russians did at Balaclava. Look what happened to them. 398 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,911 You could have held on longer. Margo would have come round in the end. 399 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,157 Maybe, Barbara, but it's a very empty house without her. 400 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,396 I'm working awfully hard at the moment. 401 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,876 When I get home, the house is warm, comfortable. 402 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,629 She's always there. The dinner's prepared, the wine's chambr�, 403 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,478 she's wearing a nice gown. 404 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,715 I miss her. 405 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,958 And three Polish buyers are coming to dinner next week and I don't know what Poles eat. 406 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,198 Well, I suppose it's not a totally unconditional surrender. 407 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,517 I don't think you should be quite so ungracious, Barbara. 408 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,358 I think Jerry's doing the right thing. 409 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:15,395 What nicer way to say sorry than to buy me, er... Margo a lovely spinning wheel? 410 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,592 Well, I'd better be getting off to work. What's the best thing to do? 411 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,076 - Leave her a note or telephone later? - No need, she's here. 412 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,111 Hello, darling. 413 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,357 - Hello, Barbara. Hello, Tom. - Hello, Margo. Where have you been? 414 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,075 Well, from the abuse hurled at me by my husband last night, 415 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,430 I was given the impression that from now on 416 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,235 I was required to pay for everything that I use in the house out of my own pocket. 417 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,511 - I didn't say anything like that... - Even... Even if it meant 418 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,551 my going out to scrub floors. 419 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,079 So I've got a job. 420 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,236 - Scrubbing floors? - No. 421 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,556 Two afternoons a week in a florist's. 422 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,432 That wouldn't keep you in hand cream. 423 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,871 You can't go lugging great heavy flowers about. 424 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,071 I thought you were my friends. 425 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,111 - Margo. - Yes? 426 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,151 I'm... I'm sorry. 427 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,158 - And about that spinning wheel... - I might not want it now. 428 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,599 Margo! 429 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,871 Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry. I was being childish. 430 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,480 - Sorry about all this. - No, no, it's lovely. 431 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,309 I want to say something, Jerry. And I must say it in front of Tom and Barbara. 432 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:27,115 - What? - I said a very unkind thing about you last night. 433 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,674 I accused you of being mean and miserly. 434 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,317 I know you were hurting my elbows at the time, but there was no excuse. I was unjust. 435 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,829 - It's all over now. - No, no, it must be said. 436 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,475 You may be bombastic at times, but you are never less than generous. 437 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,875 - Even over-generous. - Its all right, darling. 438 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,834 As a matter of fact, it wouldn't do me any harm if sometimes you put your foot down 439 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,032 and said "No, Margo, you may not have such-and-such." 440 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,038 I'm very grateful, it's such a pretty thing. 441 00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:00,193 Hey! I've just had a great idea, Barbara! 442 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,232 - What? - Well, Margo's got a spinning wheel. 443 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,114 If we could lay our hands on a loom, we could weave our own stuff. What do you think? 444 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,710 - I think you leave me behind sometimes. - Dol love? 445 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,831 Jerry, you wouldn't mind if we borrowed it? 446 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,077 - You'd better ask Margo, it's hers. - What about it, Margo? 447 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:19,476 - Sorry? What about what? - You wouldn't mind if we borrowed that? 448 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,353 - Why should you want to borrow this? - To spin wool. 449 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,553 You see, Tom has just had this wonderful idea about getting a loom, you see. 450 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,955 But I don't see that this would be any use to you. 451 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,630 Well, you can leave the technicalities to me, I know all about spinning. 452 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,160 - The wheel doesn't work! - I know, it's not supposed to. 453 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,669 You only wanted it as an ornament, didn't you? 454 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,712 Originally, yes. Then I talked to the lady in the shop 455 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,435 and I realised it had an additional and totally unexpected charm. 456 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,994 - Like what? - I'll show you. 457 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,350 (Tinkly music) 458 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,674 I say! Just as well you didn't get a loom first, isn't it, Tom? 459 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,109 (Laughs raucously) 460 00:28:02,159 --> 00:28:06,709 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0